Stepping In Faith
Stepping In Faith is a podcast that deepens your walk with Jesus each week by exploring the heart of faith, love, and relationships from a Spirit-led perspective. Each episode focuses on building intimate relationships with Jesus Christ, strengthening marriages, providing guidance for singles, and fostering healthy, God-centered connections.
Stepping In Faith
The Gift Of Marriage: God's Design For Love, Covenant & Favor
What if marriage isn’t something we build and ask God to bless, but a gift God authors in the Spirit and then reveals in the natural? We dig into a richer, quieter truth: love is the highest way, covenant is God’s idea, and favor flows where faithfulness stands.
We connect Romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 12 to show how spiritual gifts—service, encouragement, teaching, discernment—are meant to serve the person closest to us. Then we turn to 1 Corinthians 13 and reset the standard: without love, gifts become noise. From Genesis 2, we trace how God forms and brings, how covenant begins with His initiative, and why “helper” (ezer) means strong ally, not subordinate. Along the way, we name the counterfeits: relationships propped up by chemistry, performance, or a vibe that calls itself peace but drains your soul. Real peace aligns with God’s truth; real love is patient, kind, humble, and enduring.
Malachi 2 pulls no punches about unfaithfulness and its spiritual consequences. We talk about how mistreating a spouse hinders worship, dulls discernment, and blocks favor. We also unpack the Hebrew nuance of favor—why a wife is described as a gracious gift that multiplies what is sown: love into peace, vision into solutions, seed into legacy. Leadership becomes service, not control; partnership becomes the rhythm. And for those in a season of singleness, we honor it as a gift with purpose, not a waiting room with shame.
If you’re tired of carrying a relationship you built alone, this conversation offers a different move: start in the Spirit, let God speak, and allow the natural to confirm what He’s already said. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs clarity, and leave a review telling us how you’re choosing covenant over chemistry this week.
Ready to dive deeper? 🎧 Join us on YouTube for the full video podcast where we explore faith, love, and relationships through a Christian lens. Whether married, single, or seeking spiritual growth, our episodes offer practical advice and profound insights to strengthen your walk with Jesus. Don’t forget to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you never miss a powerful episode. Let’s grow together in faith and purpose!
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Welcome back to another episode of Stepping in Faith, where together we explore the importance of having a relationship with God and how that relationship with God can impact the relationship you have with others. I'm your host, Walter. I'm joined here alongside my lovely wife.
SPEAKER_05:Shenea.
SPEAKER_00:And this is episode six.
SPEAKER_05:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:So is it? It's episode six. Okay. So the way we always start this out, and this is actually season two. I'm sorry, I didn't say that. This is season two, episode six. So we start these episodes out with prayer. So I think last time I prayed. So this time it's my wife turning to pray.
SPEAKER_04:Do we tell them the title of the episode?
SPEAKER_00:We tell them after.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_00:So will you open us up in prayer, babe?
SPEAKER_04:Sure. Father God, we thank you for this day. We thank you for your love, your grace, and your mercy. We thank you, Father God, for opening up our listeners' ears and eyes to hear and see what it is that you have to say today through us. In Jesus' mighty name, we pray. Amen.
SPEAKER_00:Amen. Okay. So, babe, what is the title of this week's episode?
SPEAKER_04:The Gift of Marriage.
SPEAKER_00:The Gift of Marriage. So last week I think I was praying on what to talk about, discuss, and initially I got um the gifts of the spirit. Which I guess would go, it would coincide with the spirit realm, what we discussed previously. Uh yet even when I initially got the gifts of the spirit, I was reading uh Romans 12 initially, and then moved over to 1 Corinthians 12. And what happened is what was coming to mind is marriage for some strange reason. I don't know. I didn't push into it. I'm like, okay, and then this morning um I heard that God wanted us to talk about relationships or discuss relationships, and as we were sitting there, that's when we kind of went where we went. So here we are. So, babe, where do we begin?
SPEAKER_04:Well, I gotta start off.
SPEAKER_00:You want me to start off? Okay.
SPEAKER_04:No, it's fine.
SPEAKER_00:You see how my wife be doing me?
SPEAKER_04:It's fine.
SPEAKER_00:We can start with Romans 12.
SPEAKER_04:Romans 12.
SPEAKER_00:4 through 8. And then you live in translation version. You want me to read that or you want to read it?
SPEAKER_04:Oh, I thought we were getting going into the intro. I mean, I know last week and the week before we talked about the gifts of the spirit.
SPEAKER_00:Mm-hmm. Intro, go ahead. What are you saying?
SPEAKER_04:About how marriage is a gift.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, we were gonna get into that, but we was gonna start with the outright gifts, and then we was gonna move. See, you giving you giving the nuggets away before we But I mean it's right here in the intro. Okay, go ahead, baby.
SPEAKER_04:No, go ahead. You go ahead, because you you got something you wanna, you know, you got you got a revelation. I don't know how we're supposed to do this thing.
SPEAKER_00:So um, I guess we can just really dig into Romans 12. Let's dig into Romans 12, uh, verse 4 through 8 first.
SPEAKER_04:Hope everyone has their Bibles. We um are reading from NLT version.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. So uh verse 4 starts off stating just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ's body. We are many parts of one body and we all belong to each other. In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gifts is encouraging other, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you the lead giving you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift of for showing kindness to others, do it gladly. So that's what he initially gave me. And I think it's important to understand that the the churches or the church of Christ, we have different gifts that God gives us to be a blessing to others, right? And we talk about that all the time, but I don't think we think about it from the perspective of those gifts that God has given us should also serve us in marriage. And in context with this week's episode, we'll be focusing specifically on marriage. But I don't think we look at it from that perspective. So what I have here is Paul explains that just as the body has many parts with different functions, so does the church. And every believer has received different gifts from God, whether it's prophesying, serving, teaching, encouragement, giving, leadership, or kindness, right? So uh kids outside. To fully operate in our God's giving gifts, though, uh, we must first understand how they connect to love, unity, and spiritual maturity, right? So excuse, excuse me. Um that moves us over to 1 Corinthians 12. Is there anything you want to add before we go to 1 Corinthians 12, babe? Anything, any pointers?
SPEAKER_04:Um, no, I guess um with the different gifts like prophecy, serving, teaching, encouragement, giving, leadership, and kindness, um, it should be a reflection. Those gifts should reflect a marriage in all that, which is servitude and teaching one another how to love one another or how to um, you know, if what I'm lacking you make up for, or what you're lacking, I make up for, right? Encouraging each other, giving each, giving to each other, you obviously being the leader, but also me being the leader in certain in in the roles that God gives us.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. Yeah, we lead together. We lead together. So when we move over to First Corinthians um 12, and those who know and know this is dealing with specifically the gifts, the different gifts of the spirit. Uh beginning at first verse four. Do you want to read that?
SPEAKER_03:Um, if you're already there, go you can go ahead.
SPEAKER_00:So there are different kinds of, and while I'm going here, uh well, we'll go to 1 Corinthians 13 after. There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us. A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. To one person, the spirit gives the ability to give wise advice. To another, the same spirit gives a message of special knowledge. The same spirit gives great faith to another and to someone else. The one spirit gives the gifts of healing. He gives one person the power to perform miracles and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still, another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages, while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. It is the one and only spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have. So that when I was reading that, what was coming to me, and we're gonna move into that, was you know, marriage is also a gift that is distributed by the Holy Spirit, right? However, um, when we were going through this, we moved to 1 Corinthians 13. So this is just a breakdown of all of the different gifts that the Spirit of God gives us. You know, whether it's you know having giving wise advice, that's a gift given by the Spirit of God, uh, the gift of healing, right? Uh the gift of miracles, interestingly, and we we're not going into this today, but there's a difference between the gift of healing and the gift of miracles. It's two different gifts, right? There's a difference between healing and miracles and performing miracles. Um, the gift of prophecy. There's um, and we talked about this in previous episodes, there's a gift to discern whether a message is coming from God or whether that message is coming from a different spirit. That's a gift.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, discerning of spirits.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, discerning of spirits.
SPEAKER_04:Which everyone should have.
SPEAKER_00:There's the gift of giving, there's the gift of special knowledge. But not everyone may have it, you know. There's a difference between, you know, just discerning, right? And like operating within the gift, I believe. Um, I think there's levels to it.
SPEAKER_04:There are there are levels.
SPEAKER_00:You know, so um, but these are just all of the different gifts that the Spirit of God gives. But the reality, if you read on further down in verse 12, it touches on the fact that we are a body, right? And just even from a natural perspective, um, you can't be in a situation where your eyes is all there on your body, kids are being loud.
SPEAKER_03:Um kids being kids.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, you can't be there in a situation where you're it's just basically saying that we all have different gifts that we operate in. Right? So everybody shouldn't. I would say, and I know Paul said pray for the gifts, right? Yet I don't believe that everyone should be trying to operate within the same gift because if everyone is operating within the same gift, then how are you edifying the body of Christ?
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, we can't help each other.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly. Same thing with you and I. There's different gifts that we operate in, which um allows us to help each other because of the gifts that God has given us that as we come together, combine together, it be it it's edifying to our marriage. And so we touched on this um earlier today, 1 Corinthians 13. Do you want to read that uh verse 1 through 13?
SPEAKER_03:Sure.
SPEAKER_04:1 Corinthians 13, 1 through 13. If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging symbol. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it. But if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing. Love is patient and kind, love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude, it does not demand its own way, it is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wrong. It does not rejoice about injustice, but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless, but love will last forever. Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture. But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless. When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child, but when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror. But then we see everything that everything with perfect clarity, and all that I know now is partial and incomplete. But then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. Three things will last forever: faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these is love.
SPEAKER_00:So um, when we were discussing this this morning, uh what came to me is in order to truly operate within the gifts of the spirit, uh, we have to begin with love, which is the fruit of the spirit. And as we begin with love, we have the to allow the full working of the spirit of God within us in order to fully access the fullness of the fruit of the spirit, which is needed to walk out love. By doing so, this will produce in us the ability to operate within the gifts of God has given us for those of whom uh or for for those of us whom are married, beginning right, beginning with our marriage and then extending to others. And so it's interesting that Paul followed up the gifts of the Spirit with an entire chapter or an entire passage on love and saying that this is something that we have to pay attention to, that is greater, uh, it's greater than faith and love. It starts with love, right? Because he said in the end of uh 1 Corinthians uh Love is the greatest of all these. Uh three things will last forever faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these is love. And in everything that we do, uh, we have to operate from a place of love. And so I think that is so important, right? And we we touched on this before. Love positions us to access the fullness of the spirit. And I believe a lot of times we struggle with accessing the spirit because we're not operating in love. But it's interesting because in order to operate within the love that Paul touches on in 1 Corinthians 13, it is required for us to allow the Spirit of God to do the work within us so that we operate basic, basically taking upon the characteristics or the DNA of God.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So what are your thoughts? I'm putting you on the spot. You agree.
SPEAKER_03:I agree.
SPEAKER_00:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:So I don't have any thoughts.
SPEAKER_00:So as we were as we were discussing that, uh, what came to mind is that um marriage is a gift. And I heard that as we were as we were reading through all of this, that marriage is a gift. And I don't think we see marriage as a gift, right? And so Genesis 2, 18 through 24, right? This is the account of how it all began with Adam and Eve. And the Bible lets us know there, and you could read it, but for time's sake, we we have paraphrased. It says, God saw that it wasn't good for man to be alone. And it's stated that God, and it this is paraphrasing, but God basically handcrafted a woman, brought her to the man, and God established a covenant. And so the thing that we've touched on before is first of all, marriage, right? It originates with God, not man. And a godly spouse is a gift, a divine assignment and a covenant created by God.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And that digs into, and I think we have it somewhere here where Proverbs talks about a man that finds a wife, finds a good thing, and obtain favor from God.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_00:Anything you want to add there? I'm putting you on the spot.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I don't know why.
SPEAKER_00:I'm just saying, you know, the Holy Spirit may be giving you some stuff.
SPEAKER_03:Not right now. No.
SPEAKER_00:So um with that being the case, that it was interesting to me because I don't think we look at marriage as being a gift. And what was coming to me earlier is that the way that we approach marriage, we approach it from the perspective as if we're picking out our own gift, right?
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And we pick it out from our we we pick it out in such a way where we are moved by our fleshly desires, our soulish desires, right? Or we move within the soulish realm. And as we choose a spouse for ourselves, and then we go to God and say, God, we want you to join in this covenant and bless this covenant, even though we've picked that spouse. And that's not a gift from God, right? And the enemy gets us because he wants to distort whatever God does.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I mean, God gives us many gifts, just like He gives us the gives us the gift of prophecy and gives us gives us the gift of healing, just like we talked in the last episode. But the enemy will distort those gifts, and you will, instead of being a prophet or prophesying, you will be in, you will give out information through divination, or you will get healing through Reiki, but it's not, it's it's it's a false sense of healing, you know. And so God gives us the gift of marriage, or he gifts a man a woman, and that is perverted, you know, the way that the world sees how marriage should be.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and that's the challenge, right? And we move on, right? Uh, and you were talking about this marriage begins in the spirit, and so God is spirit, right? You want to touch on that? God is spirit, his gifts are spiritual, and so marriage should start in the spirit first, then the natural.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Um, did we just skip over this section?
SPEAKER_00:No. Oh, did we? Oh, we did.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, that I was like, we we're not got we haven't gotten there yet. We got we're gonna get there.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, so I guess we can go there because uh that was something that you're gonna do.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, so like what we were just talking about, like God's original design for marriage, um, and how the enemy will distort that thinking that it's something that you can do on your own. Um, no different than people who are diviners or who are um people who do Reiki or the people who um what else? What else is it that that is perverted?
SPEAKER_00:It's a lie.
SPEAKER_04:Um anyway, those are all things that people manifestation, yeah, uh, or affirmation, affirmation, um, meditation, things like that, or do yoga. Um, those are all things that you teach yourself. All those things you teach yourself. So diviners, they have to do all these rituals and do these things to try and tap into the spirit realm. Or, you know, people who do Reiki, they have to go through training, you know, to be able to uh have this healing. And if you ever, and I can I'll probably explain what what Reiki is later on down the line, but um all these things are things that you have to do on your own. And so when you stop doing these things, then all hell breaks loose. But when it's gifts that's given from God, it comes, it's it's not something you have to do or work at, right? The spirit, as long as you allow the spirit to teach you, because that's what he's there to do. Well, see, for example, uh, you just have to think not that there is there isn't any training, but it's not something you have to go out and seek and do.
SPEAKER_00:Well, the thing is you have to think about it from the perspective of what yoga is supposed to produce. So yoga technically is supposed to produce peace. And so peace is a fruit of the spirit.
SPEAKER_04:It's supposed to produce peace and unity. Yeah. Yoking yourself with the spirit.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And so when you think of all of these things that are created by the world, or uh when you start um approaching things like that, uh it's still trying to, it's trying to give you this false sense of what comes from only the Holy Spirit. There may be a peace there, but it's a false sense of peace. Um and so it's just understanding that the enemy's desire is to um, his desire is to dilute to um It's to pull you further away from God.
SPEAKER_04:It's to steal your time with God, is to kill your spirit and your soul. Perverted. Um he comes to still kill and destroy. So he wants to destroy your relationship with God by moving you further away from God, thinking that you have power, and God doesn't, almost just like how he suggested um Eve to eat the app or eat the fruit in the garden. Like you will be like God. He just don't want you to know these things, and you will know these things if you do this.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And so moving to uh Malachi 2, 14 through 16, which I skipped, uh this is interesting uh because a lot of people don't touch on this in church, and so God was speaking uh through Malachi, excuse me. God was speaking through Malachi, and he was staying here. You cry out, verse 14, why doesn't the Lord accept my worship? I'll tell you why, because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young, but you have been unfaithful to her. Though she remained your your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows, didn't the Lord make you one with your wife, and body and spirit you are his? And what does he want? God lead children from your union. So guard your heart, remain loyal to the wife of your youth, for I hate divorce, says the Lord, the God of Israel. To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty, says the Lord of heaven's armies. So guard your heart, do not be unfaithful to your wife. And so I thought that was interesting, right? Because in this, God is basically touching on how men are to treat their wives. And uh He's basically using Malachi to speak against the the mistreatment that men uh like how men were treating their wives during this period of time. And God also stated that he witnessed the covenant, and so um what stood out to me there was mistreating your wife, it hinders your relationship with God. It also hinders you hearing from God, and it hinders you operating in the fullness of whatever God has called you to operate in. And then key to this, and we've touched on this before, is when you think of a marriage, one of the greatest things that God desire from that marriage is godly offsprings.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. And I was gonna say it just it ties back into Genetis.
SPEAKER_00:Mm-hmm. Yeah, the I think the key thing because that people will be like, covenant, covenant, covenant. This is not based upon a covenant that you choose to make with God.
SPEAKER_02:You can't choose to make godly children.
SPEAKER_00:This is based on a covenant that God has made with you, and you walk into like you walk into agreement with you and your wife, walk into agreement with that covenant. And we have to go back to Genesis 2, when the Bible says that it is not good for man to be alone, so I will find a helper that is suitable for him. And God formed Eve. God did it, not Adam. Adam didn't look for anyone, Adam didn't do anything. God brought Eve to Adam, and then that covenant was made and they became one. So we have to keep that in the context of this right here, and what this is saying. And it's just reminding us once again that marriage is, of course, spiritual, right? And your treatment of your spouse directly impacts your access to God. And now we move into the whole thing of marriage being something that is spiritual. You want to jump into that bed? That was your revelation that God gave you. I didn't want to step on your toes.
SPEAKER_03:Oh no, you're good.
SPEAKER_04:Um, when we were talking and um we were talking about how people are choosing their own marriages and then inviting the Spirit of God into that marriage. And a lot of Christians or I wouldn't say believers, because if you're a believer, you should know that you always consult God on everything. And what came to me is how um we always approach things in the natural and then even and then try and figure out what is going on in the spirit as to why it isn't working the way it's supposed to be working, instead of seeking through the spirit first to figure out if we're exactly where we're supposed to be. So because God is spirit, God is spirit, he's truth, right? The Holy Spirit is a spirit that is some someone we consult with in the spirit realm. Um, as Christians or believers, we're supposed to always operate through the spirit, not in a natural at all. Like at all. We can see like everything we see in the natural has manifested from something spiritual, whether that was a dream or a vision or anything like that. All everything that we have was a dream or a vision or some uh some type of spiritual um phenomena that God gave us to produce in the natural. So we can't produce a marriage in the natural and then expect it to be good in the spirit if God was never involved in it in the first place.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. That's true. Because it the thing is, we marriage is something that starts in the spirit. But I think a lot of times, even when you think of uh the terminology that's used in the world that the church adapts or have adapted um the whole my soul mate.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And so we approach it from a soulish realm.
SPEAKER_04:Soulish realm instead of spirit. It really should be spirit mate, but it's soulmate and it's it's just casually just bounced around like it's like it should be something natural or normal, but we should not be operating in our soul at all.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And so what came to me when you were talking about that earlier is that when we choose spouses from a natural or soullish realm, we are actually attempting to build a covenant outside of God's ecosystem. And so that's when you talked about, right? That at that point it becomes our um, it becomes our, what's the word that you use? We are now held, we have to uh basically hold that marriage up, but I don't I forgot what word you use. But um it is we're responsible now for that marriage.
SPEAKER_04:We're responsible for that quote unquote blessings or we're responsible for everything that happened in that marriage, including the consequences that come along with that.
SPEAKER_00:And it becomes challenging because you're trying to hold a marriage up that you were never designed to hold up. It was always a situation that God actually is the one that protects that marriage, that keeps that marriage, and you stay in covenant with God based on what God has called you to be.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, and a lot of people don't agree with that. We know that from the last um episode episodes we we've done before. But here when um we were talking about it, what came to me because what I was reading earlier was first Corinthians, and this had nothing to do with relationships, but it came back to me. Um, because I wasn't reading about relationships, I was just really reading about spiritual warfare. But first Corinthians two, nine verse twelve says, and I can pull it up, I have to go back to it though. But it was to us that God revealed these things by his spirit, for his spirit searches out everything and shows us God's deep secrets. No one can know a person's thoughts except for except that person's own spirit, and no one can know God's thoughts except God's own spirit, and we have received God's spirit, not the world's spirit, so we can know the wonderful. Things God has freely given us. And so what why that came to me was because, right, even in just the last verse where it says, we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us only by receiving it through God's spirit. And so we have to be intertwined with God's Spirit so that we can discern whether or not, or so that we can know his deep secrets for our lives, right? For the will of God. And he that talks about it in Romans 12 also. And so, in no way should you be out here dating, trying to find your partner or your spouse without the spirit of God. Because he's the only one that knows the deep secret. Your marriage, your who he created you to be with, and who God's will for your life is a secret. And no one can know that except for you. Now the enemy can have an idea based off generational traditions, patterns, culture. That's how he moves. You know, he doesn't know God's direct plan for your life.
SPEAKER_00:No.
SPEAKER_04:He can the enemy sets seeds in your bloodline, in your family, so that he can control your life. Well, listen to me. So he knows patterns, traditions, cultures, what you, what, what he's he influences it.
SPEAKER_00:Well, the enemy attack, he the enemy, when he attacks, he attacks mantles.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So that's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_04:It's it's gen is it's through generations that he attacks.
SPEAKER_00:So if you are a prophet, uh if you carry the anointing of a prophet, if you operate within that mantle, he's gonna attack that mantle. If you are an apostle, he attacked that mantle. If you carry the gifts of healing, he attacked that. If you carry the gift of prophecy, he attacked that. Whatever so he attacks that. And then he, it's just an understanding that based on your worldview, uh, the enemy sets it up to where he gives you something that fits what you're looking for. When we think of Samuel, if Samuel wasn't tuned into the Holy Spirit when he was going to look for the next king of Israel, he would have picked one of David's brothers foolishly because he was looking from his own natural perspective, which is what the enemy was trying to use to distort and God had to let him know. No, no, no, no, no. I'm looking at the heart.
SPEAKER_05:Right.
SPEAKER_00:I'm looking at the heart of the matter.
SPEAKER_05:Right.
SPEAKER_00:And so it's just important to understand that how the enemy operates, that's how the enemy operate with us.
SPEAKER_04:He gets you with your eyes. Yep. Because your eyes, your eyes lead you to, your eyes are a gateway to your soul. And so if you, if he can corrupt your eyes, your sight, he can corrupt your soul.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly. So it's important to really, as we're tying this in, uh, many marriages struggle because we approach it naturally first, then we try to involve God later. And so in God's design, right, we seek the spirit first, then the natural confirms what has already been stated in the spirit.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_00:So the spirit is where the answer comes from, right? The word of God. Like, because the angels move based upon the word of God.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:And the natural now has to um align with whatever God has already spoken and said should be. But I I believe the key thing, and this is challenging, we have to move away from the perspective of going out and seeking naturally things, right? So men or women looking for that someone or whatever, because when we look at the uh the example God gave us by way of Adam and Eve, that was not what took place. Adam was busy doing what God called him to do, and God brought Eve to Adam.
SPEAKER_04:Right. And it's in it will go all the way back to Matthew 6, 33, where it says, seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all his righteousness and all things will be added unto you. So as long as you seek him, as long as you are loving him, because that's what you know, 1 Corinthians 2 says, I have to love God, and he will freely give me everything that I need, basically, you know, um, that he wants me to have. And so through loving him, through seeking him, we will have everything that we need. Yes. He will he will reveal the the spirit of God will reveal to us the deep dark secrets or deep secrets of God in God's thoughts about our lives. Because we don't know his thoughts unless we have his spirit. We communicate with his spirit.
SPEAKER_00:So essentially, you can't know God's design for marriage without spiritual revelation.
SPEAKER_04:No, but what a lot of people do is they use the Bible as a guideline to make decisions for their life without the thoughts of God.
SPEAKER_00:Without God, really, you you it's impossible because they use it from a natural perspective.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, from because they use it as like a blueprint. And and I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but what I'm saying is it's not individualized. No, well, the thing is because God already has a plan for everyone individually, He's already predestined things for you individually, so you have to know his thoughts about your life in particular.
SPEAKER_00:Well, this goes back to um what we were stating on one of the previous episodes, and we we talk about this all the time. I believe it's in 2 Timothy or 1 Timothy, where the Bible lets us know that the scriptures is inspired by the Spirit of God.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And that's what's something God was dealing with me on earlier on, back in um 2023, possibly 2022, essentially just stating that because of that being the case, it's impossible to understand the scripture outside of the spirit of God.
SPEAKER_04:Right. It's like you're you you you're using people use the Bible and they use scripture as law, as a basis, as a blueprint, but it's hard to do when you don't have the spirit of God leading you, guiding you in certain and particular situations.
SPEAKER_00:And that's really important. So that I think this is all the the next few sections can all tie in together. Um because everyone, we are apologizing about this in advance. This is gonna be a shorter episode. Um but is it though? Yeah, typically I uh it's normally about an hour and some change, and this is probably gonna be no more than like 45 minutes or so. Okay, so we can get to church. So here's the thing, and they're they argue with this all the time, babe. Enter in marriages that aren't designed by God, right? So we talked about this before. When God didn't join it, you must carry it, and that's good.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, it's whenever you make a covenant in God's name, um, the the laws still apply, the laws of the spirit still apply, no different than we we are when we operate outside of God's It's an illegal covenant, though. You know, like if we have sex outside of marriage, or if you commit adultery, or you steal, or you kill, or be careful with that because they'd be like, oh, the law still applies.
SPEAKER_00:So this covenant God still blesses. No, it's it's an illegal covenant that you've created, it's a backdoor, and that's why it is No, because like it's the same.
SPEAKER_04:If you have sex outside of marriage, does God bless that? No, there's still there's still consequences, you're creating covenants, and at the same time, can you be blessed and cursed at the same time? Yes. Can you be blessed and have consequences at the same time? Yes.
SPEAKER_00:Because so, so, and this is another episode. That's when we dig into there's different parts of your life that could can be like you can be obedient to God in and you have given over to God, but then there's other parts of your life that you have not given over to God. Right. And that's what God was dealing with me on previously, that this particular area in my life, he's like, you haven't given that over to me.
SPEAKER_03:So you're struggling.
SPEAKER_00:So you're struggling in that particular area because you haven't given it, you're holding on to it. And that's how we approach marriage specifically. We hold on to marriage, so we see God moving in other areas. Right. But I would go as far as saying that even within that, right? Um, because in the previous situation I was in, I didn't know what God called that person to. I didn't know God's plan for that person's life.
SPEAKER_04:I didn't, there was no You didn't know how that person was gonna turn out two, three years, four, five years from now.
SPEAKER_00:I saw nothing. It was pitch black from a spiritual perspective because I was somewhere God told me that God didn't want me to be. I was in an illegal covenant. So what I have with you, where you know, God um showed me what he has for your life. God showed me where he's taking you and the things that he's going to do in your life, and he has, he was, he's already done. And I'm able to operate with you the way I'm able to operate with you in, it's because I'm where God has called me to be. So that won't work with any other woman. It won't work. It just won't. God forbid, and and if, you know, something was ever happened to you, that's it. You know, I know people get married again, I know they do all of this stuff, but and they're not gonna like it. Um, but I I stand firm that God don't give you, God is not a God that's like, oh, where I'm gonna give you three different options. He didn't give uh He didn't give Adam, Eve, Sarah, uh, Keisha, and say, hey, if something happened to Eve, you can go to Sarah. Something happened to Sarah, you can go to Keisha.
SPEAKER_04:But I think uh a lot of times people see that can't God can use that second marriage or third marriage in any way that he chooses to.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, when it comes to when you think about it, we look at, for example, Sarah and um and Abraham, it's Sarah and Abraham that produced Isaac. So the promise is tied to Sarah and Abraham, but we're there, they've been to argue that down, so we'll leave it. So um the thing is you try to manually create favor, blessings, and alignment. And we talked about this. Yes. And we talked about the fact that you're building a system outside of God's architecture, which is really challenging.
SPEAKER_04:Right. And no different than people, you know, when they get awards and stuff like that. Oh, I want to thank God. I want to thank God. And it's like, thank God for what? Because you're the one who put in all this work, you did all this, you didn't act, God did not just give this to you. And and people are like, oh, this person is blessed because they have all these followers and they have all this influence. And it's like, well, did you see what they had to do to get to get it? You know, they they spent hours in the studio. They spent, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00:It's just like blood, sweat, and tears. Yeah. It wasn't something that just came by way of favor. And it's it's really just, I think it's that's culture where you just taught to believe anything that looks like a blessing has to come from God.
SPEAKER_04:Or no different than you going to school and you are going countless hours through medical school and you're into being a doctor, but it's been horrible.
SPEAKER_00:It's terrible. And you say, Thank God.
SPEAKER_04:And you say, Thank God I finished this, but like you hate your job.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:You know.
SPEAKER_00:And so this is something I want to touch on because we talked about gifts of God, right? Um it's important to understand this because a lot of times, men, we have to make sure we appreciate what God gives us, and women be in relationships when they're not appreciated because they're not where God has called them to be, right? The Bible, and this was God talking to Paul, I mean to uh David, King David. Uh, or this was David having a conversation with God, I'm sorry. And he said, You made all the delicate, this is Psalms 139, verse 13. You made all the delicate inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex. Your workmanship is marvelous, how well I know it. You watch me as I was being formed in other seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born, every day of my life was recorded in your book, every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. I think this is so important, right? Because sometimes we don't understand uh and this goes back to Malachi and all of that. God really, when we look at Genesis 2, God took his time in creating Eve. And how we approach that, right? Whether it be, and I think it's I I speak to men specifically because we fall into this a lot, but this goes for women too. You have to be mindful that if you are somewhere that God has called you to be, and this is a gift that God has given to you, you have to cherish that. The analogy that we use all the time um with baby girl is when she's dealing with her friends, you can't give the keys to Aurora's Royce to someone who, for example, is homeless, and expect them to treat that like someone who understands what that is would. They're not. They're not going to take care of it, they're not going to uh cherish it, they're not going to do all of the things that you're supposed to do. It won't be garage kept, it won't be well maintained. And so it's the same thing with I would speak to women specifically. You're out here giving your heart, you're giving your body and all of this to men who God never called for you to be with in the first place, right? That mistreat you because they don't recognize the gift that lies within you.
SPEAKER_04:And then they give this false or this um, what what do you call it? Like a quote or whatever, that you have to teach people. Like you have to teach, you have to teach this homeless person how to treat the Rolls-Royce. And it's like, no, I'm not giving the Rolls-Royce to somebody that doesn't know what to do with it, you know, because then I have it will probably be damaged, and I'll have to keep repairing it and repairing it. And then they'll have to learn. But it's not my job to teach, it would be God's job to teach.
SPEAKER_00:And I'm I'm looking right now as you're talking, because I'm trying to figure out how to pronounce it, and this is going to be so important. Because this is part of the part of the mistreatment that um that women have, right? Um, is the fact that they're not respected in their marriages. They're looked at as uh you're you're looked at as slaves.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And so the Hebrew word that we pulled up earlier, I don't want to mispronounce this Hebrew word. I believe it's is it I don't know.
SPEAKER_03:Talking about Ratson?
SPEAKER_00:Uh Rason. Rats.
SPEAKER_03:Ratsun. Ratzone. Rot. Ratsone. Rotzone.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And so what that means, right, uh is delight, favor, goodwill, a gracious gift. And this is what it was talking about when um I believe in Proverbs. When it was saying in a man, or was it Proverbs? Let me see. Let me look back at my notes. Um because I think um we miss I believe that was talking about the favor of God. Right? Because we misconstrued Oh, no, no, no, it wasn't talking about favor, it was talking about helpmate. I believe that was the word for helpmate. No, it was favor, it was favorite. It was favor. It was favor.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And so it's really important to understand this. It was just basically stating and confirming that you all are a gift.
SPEAKER_04:Right. When a man obtains favor from the Lord, when he is joined with his wife, a ratson, favor is the word that's used, but rotsan is in Hebrew, it means delight, favor, goodwill, and a gracious gift. So he's receiving a gift from God, being you being a wife. And I was like, Well, what did the wife get?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And it was like, oh, well, she is the gift. Yes. It's like, what do you bring to the table? And it's like, I am the table.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. And that's Proverbs 18 and 22. The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord. And that's what it was meaning. That's the Hebrew word for that. And before I forget, and this is really key, and we're gonna move on. Let's remember this, babe. Because we just we were just talking about covenants, right? Um covenants work best when it's rooted in God's will and not human desire.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So while you can create your own covenant, covenants work best when it is rooted in the will of God for your life.
SPEAKER_05:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:But outside of that, it's not gonna work properly. And it's just remembering that, right? Um yet let's move into, and we I feel like we did an episode on counterfeit marriages or the inner marriage.
SPEAKER_04:We did counterfeits. We did counterfeits. That's an episode title.
SPEAKER_00:So here's the thing to remember, right? Satan cannot create, he only imitates. Counterfeit unions produce confusion, manipulation, spiritual distraction, bondage, right? God ordained unions produce peace, spiritual growth, holiness, and fruit of the spirit. Okay so we see we see uh there, and this is gonna tie into this point that I'm about to get into, there's the peace of God, right? And the peace of God is really like a sweet spirit that you would see upon someone. And then there is this false sense of peace that's been produced by you know yoga or whatever the case may be.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, well, there's a there's peace of God because of the truth that's there.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So there's different types of peace is out there, right? And so the reason I say that is because not everything that looks like love is from God. And the enemy will always offer a counterfeit to pull you out of destiny. So when you hear me say, not everything that looks like love is from God, what is it like when you hear that? What what comes to mind with you?
SPEAKER_04:Love is what's the scripture?
SPEAKER_00:Uh 1 Corinthians 13.
SPEAKER_04:1 Corinthians 13. So there's patient, yeah, is kind, it's gentle, it's not boastful, meaning there's no pride there, it's not manipulative, it's literally all the fruits of the spirit in one.
SPEAKER_00:So the the key thing is, right, and we we had this disagreement when we first met because um and prior to my conversion, because I thought I was loving you the way that you're, you know, I'm supposed to love.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:And it's the way the world teaches us to love. And what it teaches us is that as I do for you, I should expect you to do for me and you should do for me.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_00:Right. And if you're not doing for me, then you don't love me.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_00:And I should not do for you.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_00:So love, so yes, thank you, Holy Spirit. So from a worldly perspective, love is conditional. So it looks like love. That's what they teach you that love is conditional. But from a godly perspective, we're talking about an agape type love. Love is in spite of, it's unconditional. It's unconditional love. I'm doing whatever I do for you in spite of what you do to do for me, and not expecting anything in return. Go ahead. I know you want to say something.
SPEAKER_04:Right. No, no, no. I it what was just coming back to me is is without love, every spiritual gift becomes empty noise. And so we all we we come to the table with different gifts to help each other. But it those gifts don't operate if love isn't there.
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
SPEAKER_04:And so from a worldly perspective, it's like, oh, I'm loving you with kindness, I'm love, or I'm loving you with, you know, I'm trying to teach you something, or I'm trying to encourage you, or you know, and you did, like you encouraged me, you did all these things, but true love wasn't there because the Holy Spirit wasn't there. Yeah, you know what I mean? And so it was a it was a it was counterfeit.
SPEAKER_00:It was selfish basically.
SPEAKER_04:Right. Because you have those, those are gifts that God's given you to encourage me, to help teach me, and you know, help discern situations to help me, right? But when you were doing those things, it was coming from us your soul and not your spirit and just wine with God's spirit.
SPEAKER_00:And it's not sustainable, um, which is why as I went through that process, I became discouraged and I could not do it because it was something that, and that's why God was saying to me in the beginning that you have to love her through me, meaning that you have to allow my spirit in you uh the ability, or you have to allow my spirit in you the ability to produce that love. And now you love her through that, because when you try to love through your own strength, which is from our perspective, from a soulless realm, it does not work. But then that actually moves back into the gifts of the spirit, where uh we were, I was operating within certain gifts with you uh from a natural perspective, and then I didn't understand it because I I never did it with anyone else, and now it was this desire to do it with you because now I was connected to the one that God had called me to be with.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_00:But still, once again, it was like just noise because I was doing it outside of the Holy Spirit. So that is really good, and that's really important.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So that's a good, that's a good example. So we can move into the gifts God gives the woman in marriage, but I believe that could be always left for another episode. Um I think we looked over, looked through that because it was something that you had questioned previously, right?
SPEAKER_04:Um What are you seeing?
SPEAKER_00:Like section nine. Section nine through um ten is really just touching on what you know, because you question, okay, well, we know what the gifts is that God gives to man, but what's the gifts of a woman?
SPEAKER_04:Right, like what I said is like she is the table, so she's the helper. She's God's gift, she is the gift, meaning she is the the suitable helper. Like that is, she is operating in the in the gift as the gift that God gives.
SPEAKER_00:I think the thing that I would leave people on because um leave people with is this right here. Uh, because when we think of uh Genesis 2, it's for some strange reason men approach it from the perspective of helper as less than.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And that's not the case. And so uh the Hebrew word for helper suitable, and if I butcher this word, please forgive me, but I believe it's what Ezer kanindo.
SPEAKER_04:Connecto, but I think a lot of people just say Ezer.
SPEAKER_00:Or Ezer. Okay. What that means is strong helper, support, or rescuer. Same word used for God as our help. And so it's a powerful spiritual role. It was never meant to be something that was lesser. And so I think for women, hopefully you could take this and understand that you know you aren't less less than, you are not lesser. And any man that tells you you are. I'm sorry, he had he does not have a revelation with who God has called you to be. Because the Bible, we we talked about this before in previous episodes. It told them, the Bible says God said to them, both the man and the woman, to have dominion, to rule, right?
SPEAKER_05:Right, together to together to um be fruitful, be fruitful and multiply. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And so it's a joint effort, meaning that she is on the same, you know, with him.
SPEAKER_04:Playing field, yes.
SPEAKER_00:And so I think that's important to touch on.
SPEAKER_04:Literally teammates.
SPEAKER_00:And so I we can get into all of this, um, you know, but we don't have time. So, right, we we touched on the gift of wisdom and discernment that women have. Examples of that is Abigail, Deborah, Esther, Priscilla, the Proverbs 31 woman, right? Um, a wife, we know a wife carries spiritual sensitivity, discernment, the ability to guide her home.
SPEAKER_04:Right. When she's operating in a God ordained marriage, yes, she has spiritual, not that and even when she's not, it's it's perverted because the woman multiplies, right? Whatever the man has. So it's a perversion of the perverse chaos, whatever. Exactly. It's a perverse multiplication of spiritual sensitivity, discernment, the ability to guide the home. And so instead of you know guiding the home, maybe you're ruling the home or you know, or not doing anything in the home.
SPEAKER_00:There's a when you're outside of God's will and you're not in the covenant that God has called you to be with, be in, and then you have also the men that's not doing what God has called them to do. Exactly. You literally, is we talked about this before, you fall under the curse of of Adam and Eve after they ate from the tree. But when you but that's not how God has called for us to operate, which is why we have we go through the through that uh period, that we go through that process of being born again, which is what Jesus, you know, was talking to Nicodemus about, about being born again of the spirit. And when you're born again of the spirit, now all of that reverses, and now we can operate within Ephesians, I believe that's Ephesians 5 or Ephesians 4. It talks about uh our marriage being an example of the marriage that Christ has with the church. Right and so that's when I'm not uh in competition with you, right? But we are together and it's that harmony where we are kind of operating together within the spirit of God.
SPEAKER_04:Right. We're we're partnering, it's a partnership. Like we partner with Christ to get things done for the kingdom of God, right? And so as a wife and a husband, they partner together to get things done for the kingdom of God.
SPEAKER_00:And that so that's when that moves into you actually, your wife, uh the the through the wife, the husband receives God's favor, right? She becomes a vessel of blessing, increase, and spiritual covering. You talked about multiplication. Um for women, that means you give a wife a house, she'll make it a home.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_00:You give her love, that becomes peace.
SPEAKER_02:Right.
SPEAKER_00:You provide a seed, and she'll produce children from that, right? Vision, structure, information, she brings forth solutions.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:And so a lot of times, and we touched on this before, if things are going wrong in a God-ordained marriage, I have to look back at the husband and say, okay, what are you doing wrong? Because whatever you put into that woman, right, she's going to multiply.
SPEAKER_04:And not to say that she isn't doing anything wrong, but you are there as her empowerer. You like to encourage her to do the things that she's doing. Um, because you are the leader, you are the head. And so if you aren't loving, then she's not going to be loving. And then you're like, well, why is she loving me? And then it's like, well, you know, it starts with you. You know, you have to lead by example. Um, you know, people don't like to hear that, but but it's the truth. It's the truth. If if your marriage is is something going wrong in your marriage, man, you have to really check your heart posture and say, Am I doing something wrong first before I even put it out on my wife?
SPEAKER_00:And typically when you go to God, God is gonna show you you.
SPEAKER_04:And then in many cases, and this is what Apostle was talking about on the other Sunday.
SPEAKER_00:In many cases, when he showed you you, God will work on you. And as God works on you now, right? By God working on you, he began to work through the woman.
SPEAKER_04:Exactly.
SPEAKER_00:And so, in in closing, because we got to get ready to go to church, uh marriage is a spiritual covenant, not just a natural agreement, right? So when we align with God's original intent, marriage becomes a blessing, uh, it becomes a ministry, it becomes a divine partnership, and it becomes a reflection of God's love. And so while I I think it's important, you know, this channel is centered around relationships. Uh, so one of the greatest gifts that one has that God can give to you. Is marriage. Now, for those who aren't married, also understand that that is also a gift called singleness. Paul touched on.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:But we're touching specifically on marriage because we have to shift our perspective with how we look at marriage in order to shift how we approach uh coming into marriage or uh seeking marriage.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. I mean, because the main thing is, well, some people are called to singlehood, and you might be single for a season, obviously, for God to work on you. His goal is to produce godly children.
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
SPEAKER_04:It's to produce more people made in his image. That's the goal. It's right there in the beginning. So a lot of people in the world are like, oh, well, I'm gonna be single forever. No, this is really not God's design. It's God's design for you to be fruitful, to be multiple, to multiply the earth with his image.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:But then it's also Satan's desire for you to multiply with his own. With his own with people making children in his own image.
SPEAKER_00:So please, you know, and we touched on this in the previous episode, please understand, just like God has a plan for marriage, so does the enemy. And to think that, um to think that marriage in itself is something that the enemy don't want you to have, I would think is a very uh unhealthy uh way to approach the enemy and his plan because it's not that the enemy don't want you to be married, it's the enemy don't want you to be married to whom God has called you to be with, because in that you unlock everything that God is called to literally partnering um to help the kingdom. So when you're not um following the perfect will of God for your life, including in marriage, uh you unknowingly are actually partnering with Satan. And I guess that's where we leave it.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Anything else you want to add, babe?
SPEAKER_04:No, I think the thing is uh what the most important thing is for you to, if you um are struggling with um spiritual discernment and growth, I would say, you know, read Ephesians 3 and Paul's prayer for spiritual growth. Pray that over yourself.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:Pray that over yourself. It definitely works for sure. Um, so that your eyes and your ears will be open to what God is saying and not saying.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. Well, there you have it, everyone. We appreciate you. Um prayerfully, this episode has been a blessing to you. Our prayers are with you. Uh, and anything else, babe?
SPEAKER_04:Nope, that's it. We thank you guys.
SPEAKER_00:And until next episode.
SPEAKER_04:Until next episode. God bless. Bye.
SPEAKER_00:Bye.